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Worst. Cookbook. Ever. If You Thought Testicles Made Bad Food, How About Semen Recipes?  ||  Feature: Athletes Who Don't Make Us Want To Purge This Thanksgiving  ||  Next Year's Pirelli Calendar Is Going For A More Eco-Friendly Theme  ||  Ryanair Releases Employee Hotties Calendar for 2009 To Support Charity, Our Lust For Stewardesses
FridayFebruary012008

Machochip Weekly Recap: It's Time For The Super Bowl!

What you missed because you were out stocking on tortilla chips and beer for the Super Bowl…or America V UNAM. Hey, you might hate football. January 28, 2008 China take the Beckham “bend it” factor to another level. There...

FridayJanuary252008

Machochip Weekly Recap: Because You Were Busy Scoping Out Victoria Posh's Spacesuit.

Since there is no football this weekend, and you’ll have time to indulge in all that domestic matter your gal pal (or guy pal who doesn’t like sports), remember to always keep proper paperwork when you walk “your pets.”...

MondayJanuary212008

'Member? It Be A Cauldron Of Boiling Sports Goodies This Morning.

Whas Happened In Sports This Weekend NFL Recap NFC Championship: Grudge fight. Stinking cold. The field goal kicker’s legs were frozen shanks of glory. Hot damn. New England and the New York Giants will play in the Super Bowl....

ThursdayJanuary172008

'Member? Good Goalie Substituted For Bad Goalie Never Makes Any Sense.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Copa Del Rey: Last week it was Dudek for Casillas means no win. This week it’s Dudek for Casillas means no more Copa Del Rey for Madrid. Real Madrid 0, Mallorca 1. [CNN]...

WednesdayJanuary162008

'Member? The New York Knicks Are Tired Of Losing, Start Winning.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA: If Washington beat the Celtics, and the Knicks beat Washington…we’re not even going there. New York’s on a winning streak. New York Knicks 105, Washington Wizards 93. [Seattle PI] Copa Del Rey:...

TuesdayJanuary152008

'Member? The Washington Wizards Are Awesome.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NBA: Three days, two games and two wins against the Boston Celtics. Spread the word, Washington. Washington Wizards 88, Boston Celtics 83. [AP] NHL: Evgini Malkin loves him some hat tricks. NY Rangers...

ThursdayJanuary102008

'Member? A Coin Toss Determines The Interliga 2008 Finals?

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Soccer Roundup Interliga 2008: Club America defeat Atlas 3-2, but Atlas advances to Saturday’s finals against San Luis because they won a coin toss held behind closed doors. We see some problems with...

TuesdayJanuary082008

'Member? Ohio State Loses To LSU And It's An Upset? Says Who?

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night BCS Championship: Ohio State’s QB Todd Boeckman faceplanted to the turf throughout four quarters. LSU’s defense was just too much. We’re giving credit to the magic. LSU 38, Ohio State 24. [SI] NBA:...

WednesdayJanuary022008

'Member?: Illinois Never Recovered From The All-You-Can-Eat Meat-A-Thon.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Rose Bowl: Illinois weren’t in it for the game. We saw tons of their fans (and husky fellas that might have been players) at Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica on New Year’s...

TuesdayDecember182007

'Member? "Adrian Peterson To Be The Best Ever!" Says Overzealous MNF Guy

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NFL: It wasn’t pretty, but Minnesota took a necessary step towards post-season play last night. Adrian Peterson’s game: flawless good enough. Minnesota 20, Chicago 13. [AFP] NBA: Lebron James’ thumb complies. Cleveland 103,...

MondayDecember172007

'Member? The Miami Dolphins Finally Got Their Wish.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NFL: What’s the worst that could have happened to our malicious little hearts this weekend? How about a Miami Dolphins victory? Good grief Ravens. Miami 22, Baltimore 16 (OT) [SI] England Premiership: Arsenal...

FridayNovember302007

'Member? Cheeseheads Melt, The Knicks Remind Us They're The Knicks, And Uefa Sandblasts Us With A Third Consecutive Day Of Tourney Action. We're Sore.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NFL: Antonio Romo took a break from shagging pop-stars and beat Green Bay’s Brett Favre/Aaron Rodgers duo 37-27. Next on the list: conquering Jessica Simpson’s pantie drawer. [Dallas Morning News] Uefa Cup: Atletico...

ThursdayNovember292007

'Member? Real Madrid Still Struggling To Decipher German

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Uefa Champions League: Werder Bremen stun Real Madrid 3-2, making Group A free for anyone to take—kind of like an Olsen twin. [Guardian UK] NBA: Lebron James sprains a finger and the Cleveland...

WednesdayNovember282007

'Member? Roma Trounce On Dynamo Like A Gladiator In Musth

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Uefa Champions’ League: Them Romans and their bludgeoning. When will it end! No animals were hurt during this slaughtering. Roma 4, Dynamo Kiev 1. [SkySports] NBA: Didn’t Shawn Kemp just celebrate a birthday...

TuesdayNovember272007

'Member? Monday Night Horror Strikes Again

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night NFL: It took the Pittsburgh Steelers approximately 59 minutes and 43 seconds of game time to beat the 0-10 Miami Dolphins. That translates to three hours of hell. Pittsburgh 3, Miami 0. [Espn]...

FridayNovember022007

Member? D.C.United Bust An "A-Rod" And Are Going Home For The Winter

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night MLS Playoffs: Chicago Fire stun D.C. United on aggregate to reach Eastern Conference finals. Cuauhtemoc survived with only a few scratches. [Goal] NBA: Motown is on fire! Detroit Pistons extinguish the Miami Heat...

TuesdayOctober302007

Member? Colorado Is Begging For Some Mercy.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Monday Night Football: Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers beat Denver in overtime 19-13. It hasn’t been a great week in Colorado at all. [MSNBC] NHL: Yo, where did all the freakin’...

MondayOctober292007

Member? Londoners Are Bloody Loving Football...Of The Pigskin Kind.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night. NFL: Fans in London, England were treated to their first, live NFL game. Troops of hooligans were seen taking notes on tackles, chop blocks, and other bone-crushing maneuvers. [Sporting News] English Premier League:...

FridayOctober262007

Member? Chivas de Guadalajara Aren't Part Of The Party Anymore

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Copa Sudamericana: Argentina’s Arsenal stun Chivas de Guadalajara by winning 3-1. Our tío back home is totally pissed. [Espn Global] UEFA Cup: Spain’s Getafe beats England’s Tottenham Hotspur 2-1. All we really care...

ThursdayOctober252007

Member? All Robinho Needed Was A Little Lovin'

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night UEFA Champions League: Robinho scored two goals to help Real Madrid beat Olympiakos 4-2. Lesson: thinking your awesome translates to awesomeness. Oh wait, that only works for Brazilians. Never mind. [El Universal] World...

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