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Worst. Cookbook. Ever. If You Thought Testicles Made Bad Food, How About Semen Recipes?  ||  Feature: Athletes Who Don't Make Us Want To Purge This Thanksgiving  ||  Next Year's Pirelli Calendar Is Going For A More Eco-Friendly Theme  ||  Ryanair Releases Employee Hotties Calendar for 2009 To Support Charity, Our Lust For Stewardesses
MondayNovember242008

Last Chance To Get Your Luke On At The Star Wars Exhibition Jedi Training Camp In Madrid

Star Wars The Exhibition, which has been touring Europe since January of 2006, has finally hit the end of the road in Spain. That’s right from now through March 15, 2009 is your last chance to see over 240...

ThursdayNovember132008

Sorry Fellas, She's Taken—Ana Ivanovic Confirms She's Dating Spainish Tennis Pro Fernando Verdasco

Oh, this is truly a sad day. Gorgeous Serbian tennis player Ana Ivanovic has confirmed she and Spain’s Fernando Verdasco are an item. Really… the guy with the fauxhawk? She said that they started seeing each other during the...

ThursdayNovember132008

Colombian Hitmen Burn Horses... Don't They?

In a story straight out of The Sopranos, three horse-mounted matadors are on trial in Spain for hiring the most incompetent hitmen in Colombian history. Jose Miguel Callejon Martin, his father Jose Antonio Callejon Amoros and Manuel Buendia brought...

TuesdayNovember112008

Real Sociedad's Iñigo Díaz de Cerio Prepares To Get His Pimp Walk On

We personally still smart every time we see an Arsenal kit because of what happened to Eduardo da Silva back in February. So it’s lucky for us we’re not real close followers of Spain’s second division or else we’d...

FridayOctober312008

Spanish Racists Take To The Internet To Harass Lewis Hamilton

Puta madre, it’s like we’re going to start a whole section on this site just for Spanish racists. This time, they’re targeting F1 superstar Lewis Hamilton (again), but have upped the ante. They’ve moved their 13th-century ideals to the...

MondayOctober202008

Bullfighters Francisco and Cayetano Ordonez Love The Family Business, Even If Means Death

Francisco and Cayetano Ordonez are the kind of guys you love to hate—they’re rich, super-good looking and the toast of Spain. But then you remember the reason that is (other than the good looking part) is because they’re the...

FridayOctober172008

Everyone Hates Spain: Your Atletico Madrid UEFA Ban Round Up

By now soccer fans have heard the news that an October 1st Atletico Madrid Champions League match against France’s Olympique Marseille ended in some kind of violent clusterfuck with 30 arrests being made and Marseille’s black players being called...

ThursdayOctober092008

Spain's National Soccer Team Gets A Booze-Soaked Thank You

So other than that whole Olympic basketball mess, Spain made a huge splash on the international sports scene this year. Perhaps the biggest coup was the national soccer team picking up the Euro 2008 cup, their first major title...

WednesdayOctober012008

Spainish Baller Jose Calderon Wants To Apologize For That Whole Slanted Eyes Olympic Mess

As the NBA training camp season opens, a lot of last season’s failures fuel the questions spouted by reporters. But for Toronto Raptors guard Jose Calderon, it’s the most-say racist picture he took with his Spanish Olympic basketball squad...

ThursdaySeptember182008

Spaniard Rudy Fernandez Is Heading To The Portland Trailblazers

Rudy Fernandez managed to capture the attention of the big boys in the NBA and is headed to the Portland Trailblazers starting Sunday. Fernandez averaged 13.1 points per game in Beijing and dropped some 22-point knowledge on the US...

FridaySeptember122008

Real Murcia Boss Javier Clemente Wishes Death Upon You, You Sorry Excuse For A Journalist

Javier Clemente is the most honest man in the history of the universe. And he’s also probably a nut job. Sure we’ve had our fair share of insults over our 12-month tenure at this here site, but we don’t...

WednesdayAugust272008

Taking A Dip In Tomato Slush Is Totally Cool In Spain

You gotta love Spaniards. When they’re not partaking in jamon serrano eating sessions, or drinking cañas and then hitting their siestas, they’re out tossing tomatoes in the street and making a blood-red swimming pool out of their streets. And...

MondayAugust252008

Alert: Rafael Nadal Doesn't Know How To Do His Laundry.

Rafael Nadal’s stature as the ATP’s top-ranked player should come with numerous perks and benefits resembling those of a Sultan. In fact, he should probably be treading on roses everywhere he steps at this juncture of his career. Because...

ThursdayAugust212008

Has Spanish Baller Juan Carlos Navarro Boycotted The English-Speaking Media?

With all the circus surrounding the slant-eyed pictorial, have members of Spain’s national basketball team decided to shut out any media personnel who doesn’t speak Spanish? That seems to be the case after the US team blew them out...

TuesdayAugust192008

Spain's Synchronized Swimmer's Christmas-Like Swimsuits Banned

Here’s the deal: you can wear glittery sequence on your suit during a synchronized swimming routine, but once you start adding actual lights and batteries to your swimsuit, then expect the IOC to charge in and say, “Joder! Que...

SaturdayAugust162008

Is Ricky Rubio Spain's Next Great NBA Import? Let's Wait Until He Can Buy A Beer To Find Out

So lost in that whole Spainish basketball unpleasantness is that the Espanoles probably have the best team in the world (while we have the best talent—yes, there is a difference). And while the media focus seems to center around...

ThursdayAugust142008

Spanish Tennis Team Try And Top Racist Spanish Basketball Team Ad

Oh, Spain. How are you going to get away with this one? After photographs were revealed last week of the Spanish basketball team making derogatory gestures towards their Olympic hosts, a photo of the Spanish Tennis Team has surfaced...

ThursdayAugust142008

'Member?: Nomar Garciaparra Can Hit Without Breaking His Bat Or Body Part

MLB: The Dodgers used a walk-off homer in the ninth by Nomar Garciaparra to beat the Philadelphia Phillies and tie the Diamondbacks for a share of the NL West lead. It’s nice to see Nomar do what Nomar can...

WednesdayAugust132008

Spain Tries To Defend Its China Ad And Fails Miserably

As much as Spain wants it to go away, the furor over “Operation: Boludos Make An Ad” won’t go away. The Spanish Olympic Committee has been forced to issue a statement denying it had anything to do with the...

TuesdayAugust122008

Spain's Rhythmic Gymnast Almudena Cid Tostado Poses For Spanish FHM

There is definitely a surplus of beautiful women participating in the Olympics this year and the list keeps on growing today. We’re not sure where Spain’s rhythmic gymnast Almudena Cid Tostado stands when it comes to racism in her...

MondayAugust112008

Spain Makes Sure They Medal High In The Racist 400

It looks like the 31-point blowout the US Men’s Basketball team handed the Chinese delegation yesterday won’t be the most embarrassing thing the home bball team will face this Olympics. That honor of offense goes to the Spaniards, and...

TuesdayAugust052008

Matador Jose María Manzanares Gets The Judicial Horns

Jose María Manzanares may have evaded serious injury throughout his career as a well-known matador, but he couldn’t evade the roaring lash of the judicial system. After pummeling a gas station owner last year and giving the guy stitches,...

WednesdayJuly302008

Paul Pierce Talks Smack About Kobe Bryant And Paul Gasol In Spain

So the Celtics’ Paul Pierce (aka Crack, aka Stabby McStabbersons) is currently in Madrid to promote whatever it is recent NBA Champs promote overseas—or maybe give impoverished kids 2008 Lakers Championship T-shirts to run it in LA’s face. Whatever...

MondayJuly212008

Jozy Altidore Loves His Siestas At Villareal

Going over to Spain and experiencing the siesta culture firsthand can be a little disorientating. This goes double for an 18-year-old kid like Jozy Altidore, who has found life with his new Villareal team (including midday naps) a lot...

WednesdayJuly162008

We Totally Missed The Ending Of The Running Of The Bulls, But Did You Know About The Acrobats?

So there was plenty of debauchery, insanity and goring going on during this year’s San Fermin Festival in Pamplona, Spain. People are consistently captivated by the adrenaline rush of being chased by half-ton bulls who’ve been geared towards abstinence...

ThursdayJuly102008

Meet The San Fermin Festival Mascot: Mr. Testis.

We don’t feel the need to translate much here because the visual elements supplied by the batty reporter are enough to explain what’s going on: there’s a bull mascot with dangling testicles and he runs around while they flop...

ThursdayJuly102008

Day Four: Running Of The Bulls: Score One More For The Gore.

The bulls are really stepping it with the goring. One Spaniard was gored in the thigh and an American was knocked unconscious by fighting bulls that weighed 1,500 pounds. Five more people were injured, which brings the tally to...

WednesdayJuly092008

Day Three: Running Of The Bulls And The Reveler's Gore.

What would you call the way that guy is riding the bull: The Sidewinder? The Kidney Crunch? The Holy Shit I Couldn’t Get Out Of The Way And Got Stuck Riding The Bull? Bing! The running of the bulls...

WednesdayJuly092008

Barcelona Denies Ronaldinho's Attempt To Play For The Brazilian Olympic Soccer Team

This past weekend, the Brazilian Olympic committee made some big news when they announced both Ronaldinho and Robinho would be joining the soccer team to help the nation of asses capture their first futbol gold medal. Well, the problem...

TuesdayJuly082008

Day Two: Running Of The Bulls. Sad Day. One Dead. Aiden Holly R.I.P.

Day two of the running of the bulls is already over in Pamplona, Spain and there’s bad news to report. One Irishman by the name of Aiden Holly (23) was killed after falling 90 feet from the Pamplona town...

MondayJuly072008

Day One: The Running Of The Bulls Lives! Today! Hemin-Guey!

When the fireworks start a’blastin’, you need to start a’runnin’. Today marked the first day of the 2008 “Gore Till You Score” fest for bulls and “Run Like Fucking Hell! Hell!” fest for Pamplona visitors, foreigners, Ernest Hemingway aficionados...

MondayJuly072008

Real Madrid's Sergio Ramos Canoodled With Nereida Gallardo Before Cristiano Ronaldo

With reports circulating for a month now that Cristiano Ronaldo may move to Real Madrid some time this summer, it’s grand to think that he may be welcomed with a slight sneer and chuckle from possible teammate Sergio Ramos....

ThursdayJuly032008

Bastian Schweinsteiger Stunned By Spanish Conga Line

It’s not always the case, but most players from the losing team can rest assured that their locker rooms are a safe haven, keeping them at bay from witnessing the champagne-drenched fiesta that takes place in the winning team’s...

MondayJune302008

Goal Of The Day: Philip Lahm Pwned By Spain's Fernando Torres.

The sole goal from the Euro final between Germany and Spain was a demonstration in perseverance and pwnership by Spain’s Fernando Torres. Pay attention to the moment Philip Lahm realizes he’s being overtaken by a bolt of lightning. Priceless...

SundayJune292008

Introducing Soccer... The Anti-Porn?

We once told you that half of European men told pollsters that an important game of soccer would totally override a comely lass giving up the… lovin’. Well, Spanish men kept up that train of thinkin’ this past week...

SundayJune292008

Euro 2008: Spain Ends 44 Year "We Always Lose" Drought.

Spanish blabber-mouth and universally declared racist Luis Aragones and his boys have conquered their Euro tournament demons by implementing a textbook strategy of passing to the guy that’s open and cutting down the field, and stifling the German offense...

FridayJune272008

Goal Of The Day: Daniel Guiza Flicks It Home.

Russia’s defense was paltry at best and non-existent at worst. Unlike the Germans and Turks providing us with exciting soccer (even though we missed half of it due to a blackout), the Russians denied us an encore of their...

FridayJune272008

Barcelona Wants Russian Hero Andrei Arshavin To Make It Rain In Spain

Andrei Arshavin made himself quite a bit of cash during this past Euro 2008. Sure his Russian squad got bounced yesterday by the Spaniards, but his amazing showing during the tournament had everyone all but writing his ticket to...

FridayJune272008

'Member? Spain Dominates Russia And Lands In The Euro 2008 Final.

Whas Happened In Sports Last Night Euro 2008: Goals from Xavi (50), Daniel Guiza (73) and David Silva (82) put the game far, far away from the Russians who had multiple breaks in attack, but few chances to score....

MondayJune232008

'Member? There's No Such Thing As Powerhouse At The Euro 2008 Tournament.

Whas Happened In Sports This Weekend Euro 2008: Some people may call Italy’s style of defensive play effective, but we thought it was boring. In the end, Spain triumphed on the prowess of Iker Casillas at goal. Trust us,...

WednesdayJune182008

Out In The Open: Spain And Greece Get Their Boogie On.

Exactly what do you think Spain’s Sergio Garcia and Greece’s Loukas Vyntra are doing? Some sort of chicken dance/boogie woogie/twister thang is our guess. Whatever, Spain’s down 1-0 but a loss wouldn’t affect their progression in the tournament. Image...

FridayJune062008

Will Jozy Altidore's Talent Be Wasted In Spain?

Whatever it was that made us proud that Jozy Altidore was going to Spain and wreck shop in La Liga has taken a bit of a hit. Villareal, the team that will be paying a $10 million transfer fee...

ThursdayJune052008

Soccer Over Sex? Most Euro Men Say Yes.

As we get closer to the beginning of the Euro 2008 championships, a lot of relationships may be endangered. That’s because a new survey out says that half of men surveyed would rather watch a soccer game they deem...

ThursdayJune052008

Goal Of The Day: Xavi Alonso Spotlights America's Flawed Defense.

By our count, Xavi Alonso took out five defenders—including the goalie—to score this goal. Somehow, we imagine that he could have sliced through the entire team to get this done because the initial move that freed him up was...

WednesdayJune042008

Jozy Altidore Headed To Villareal: Villareal Is Not Real Madrid.

There was a reason why Jozy Altidore tried to dispel rumors that Real Madrid were on his heels last year. That’s because they probably weren’t, but a certain Spanish semi-sometimes-does-well-powerhouse was definitely interested in the 18 year old and...

ThursdayMarch272008

The Power Of (More Than) One: Sevilla Fans Whoop on Atletico Fan... Bad

Graphic Video It turns out Spain’s not just about basketball blogging and hot girl contests—there’s also ass kickings asunder! This video, which was recorded on a cell phone and shown on television in Spain, shows Sevilla fans whooping on...

TuesdayMarch252008

For The NBA Brass, The Most Popular Spaniards Aren't Pau Gasol And Jorge Garbajosa

Wow, it’s been like coming out year for sports bloggers. First it was Jason McIntyre at The Big Lead, then the guys at Fire Joe Morgan turned out to be writers of The Office. Now, the writers of the...

MondayMarch172008

Bilbao Goalkeeper Armando Leveled By Bottle Thrower

We thought we’d seen it all after the raucous in Colombian soccer last week, but Spanish sports fans—constantly reminding us of their progressive ways—marred a soccer match this weekend between Real Betis and Bilbao when Bilbao goalkeeper Armando was...

ThursdayFebruary282008

Szpanish Szoccer Mysztery Szolved!

All these years and the conspiracy of Marcelino’s goal has finally been solved. Not that we really knew about the goal, but seeing these old fogies explain the conspiracy was somewhat humorous. Apparently someone manipulated video and added Amancio’s...

ThursdayFebruary212008

Spanish F1 Driver Tries Jedi Mind Tricks To Convince People His Country's Not Racist

This picture is of Formula One ex-teammates Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso during better times. That’s because even after blackfaced fans taunted Hamilton last year in Alonso’s home country of Spain, he doesn’t think Spanish F1 fans are racist...

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