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Worst. Cookbook. Ever. If You Thought Testicles Made Bad Food, How About Semen Recipes?  ||  Feature: Athletes Who Don't Make Us Want To Purge This Thanksgiving  ||  Next Year's Pirelli Calendar Is Going For A More Eco-Friendly Theme  ||  Ryanair Releases Employee Hotties Calendar for 2009 To Support Charity, Our Lust For Stewardesses
FridayNovember282008

Goal Of The Day: Steven Gerrard's Head—Right Place, Right Time

Who: Steven Gerrard, Liverpool Opponent: Marseille League/Tournament: Champions League Que Paso?: Steven Gerrard celebrated his tenth anniversary as a Liverpool Red by taking this WTF? cross in from Xabi Alonso and turning it into pure gold. The 23rd minute...

MondayNovember242008

Adidas Uses High-Price Talent For Viral Videos

We understand that the economy’s down right now, but is the internet the best way to use commercials featuring Michael Ballack, Arjen Robben, Emmanuel Adebayor and Steven Gerrard? Adidas has shelled out plenty we’re sure to make these unusual...

FridayApril112008

Alleged Easter Egg Connoisseur Protected Liverpool's Steven Gerrard's Life Against 'The Psycho'

English soccer star Steven Gerrard’s father, Paul, has had to come to the defense of a man in England who is on trial for a robbery he says he didn’t commit. The elder Gerrard wrote a letter in defense...

WednesdayFebruary202008

Goal Of The Day: Steven Gerrard Likes To Pump His Fists.

Watching this video inspired a question among the Machochip interns: do you prefer the launching power of the English footballers, or the speedy, 50 yard South American sprints? Use Lionel Messi’ 2006 example. Whatever you prefer, a knock from...

ThursdayDecember132007

Don't Rent-A-Cops Exist In England?

You’d think a salary of $250,000 a week would translate into obtaining an entourage of one, or ten private security, body guards and ex Greco-Roman high school wrestling champions to protect millions in assets (see assets: right). Liverpool FC...

WednesdayDecember122007

Heads Up: We Don't Think Federal Prisons Have A Popeye's Chicken In 'Em

Here’s Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank telling the Monday Night Football crew that if Michael Vick wants to come back to the league, he should stay away from the fried chicken. We shake our heads at this. If Vick...

FridayDecember072007

Liverpool Coach Rafa Benitez Says No To 4 AM Fights

Ricky Hatton fever is hitting England’s soccer players like the Rage Virus in 28 Days Later. It’s even threatening to take down some teams as they head in Champions League play because this weekend’s 4 AM fight (England time)...

ThursdayNovember152007

England Counting On Foreigners To Save Their Euro 2008 Dreams. Yeah, Crazy.

First it was the Liverpool’s boys asking their Israeli buddy for some help. Now Chelsea players are feeling the desperation. Chelsea defender and Israeli national player Tal Ben Haim (pictured right) has been ordered asked by his English teammates...

WednesdayNovember142007

Non-Foreign English Soccer Player Wants Foreign Limit In England Because Non-Foreign English Coaches Say So

Paranoia is running rampant in England. If the Brits don’t qualify for Euro 2008, then all foreign soccer players in the Premier League should prepare for scrutiny so malicious it will make George Orwell say, “damn.” Liverpool captain and...

ThursdayNovember082007

England Forward Peter Crouch Asks Teammate For A Tiny Favor

What do you do when your country is one-game away from a major collapse? You ask a friend for some help. England are on the verge of not qualifying for Euro 2008, so Liverpool duo Peter Crouch and Steven...

TuesdayNovember062007

Liverpool Captain Steven Gerrard Doesn't Mince Words About Taking Out Opponents

So what in the world does Liverpool have to do to stay alive tonight? It seems like we go through this each and every year with this squad. They are one Champions’ League loss away from humiliation. They’ve been...

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