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Worst. Cookbook. Ever. If You Thought Testicles Made Bad Food, How About Semen Recipes?  ||  Feature: Athletes Who Don't Make Us Want To Purge This Thanksgiving  ||  Next Year's Pirelli Calendar Is Going For A More Eco-Friendly Theme  ||  Ryanair Releases Employee Hotties Calendar for 2009 To Support Charity, Our Lust For Stewardesses
FridayNovember142008

Unhappy At Manchester United, Could Carlos Tevez End Up In Spain?

It seems that Carlos Tevez is pretty sad. Crowd: How sad is he? He’s so sad, that when Diego Maradona came to talk to him about playing for the Argentine national team, all the forwrd could talk about was...

WednesdayOctober222008

The Beckham Experiment In L.A. Is On Hiatus—Galaxy Is Loaning Becks To AC Milan

As the MLS season winds down, the Los Angeles Galaxy have decided to lend out their most precious and expensive toy to AC Milan. During the January transfer window, David Beckham will be heading to the Serie A club...

FridaySeptember262008

Thierry Henry Is One Left-Wing Start Away From Leaving Barcelona

We’ve never gotten used to Thierry Henry in the jester-like stripes of FC Barcelona. Be it known that we grew fond of him as a Gunner and we thought he’d end up a Gunner for life. But we wished...

MondaySeptember222008

Diego Maradona Ponders Inter Milan Coaching Gig, To Kidnap Sergio Aguero

Though we’d rather be reading about Rock en Espanol taking over Charlotte, NC, we couldn’t ignore news of Diego Maradona possibly taking a position on Inter Milan’s coaching staff sometime in November. Coach Massimo Moratti plans to bring Maradona...

MondaySeptember082008

Kaká Is Manchester City's Next 'Galactico' Possibility

There’s no reason to illustrate a superfluous point when it comes to Manchester City’s latest signings and possible future signings. The way they manage their team will likely achieve the same trophy count that Real Madrid acquired during the...

WednesdayAugust272008

Say It Isn't So: Manchester City Want Gimpy Ronaldo.

There’s something wrong with a soccer club when they continue to justify a player’s worth by dismissing the player’s current status in exchange for marveling at his past feats. It’s like trying to pitch a movie studio a script...

ThursdayJuly172008

Flairs And Smoke Imply Italians Joyously Accept Ronaldinho

Do Italians treasure flairs the way Mexican soccer fans treasure toilet paper? Yes. And this video proves it. Ronaldinho was presented to hundreds of fans yesterday and there’s evidence that flairs are always an Italian soccer celebration staple. Though,...

WednesdayJuly162008

Rumor Alert: Robinho To Fill The Brazilian Void At Barcelona?

With news hitting the blogosphere last night that Ronaldinho had signed with AC Milan for roughly 21 million euros, the rumors have been spreading widely as to who Barcelona could and should sign. They’ve already locked five new players...

TuesdayJuly152008

Ronaldinho Ponders Suitors, Diet Is Still Out Of The Question

We bombarded you with news of Ronaldinho’s ever-expanding gut these last few weeks, but there’s actually some pertinent news about his career that has us betting quarters as to where he’ll end up this year. The latest is that...

FridayJune272008

Barcelona Wants Russian Hero Andrei Arshavin To Make It Rain In Spain

Andrei Arshavin made himself quite a bit of cash during this past Euro 2008. Sure his Russian squad got bounced yesterday by the Spaniards, but his amazing showing during the tournament had everyone all but writing his ticket to...

TuesdayJune172008

When The Music's Over, Turn Out The Lights: Barcelona To Axe Star Trio.

Barcelona’s new coach is wasting no time ruffling the feathers of a team that once reigned as European champions and domestic champions in the same. Pep Guardiola disclosed today that the trio consisting of Samuel Eto’o, Ronaldiho and Deco—a...

FridayJune132008

Cristiano Ronaldo Sends A Subtle Message

Cristiano Ronaldo must have been bored playing bingo in his Austrian hotel room waiting for his next Euro 08 matchup. He’s decided to send the soccer world in tizzy by wearing a look that bludgeons home many messages to...

MondayJune092008

Giovani Dos Santos Will Try To Spur Tottenham Into Top-Four Finish

When Martin Jol was relieved of his duties as the Tottenham Spurs coach, with him went the “playing not to lose” mentality that plagued his tenure. The new Juande Ramos regime came in mid-season, and while not perfect, his...

FridayJune062008

Will Jozy Altidore's Talent Be Wasted In Spain?

Whatever it was that made us proud that Jozy Altidore was going to Spain and wreck shop in La Liga has taken a bit of a hit. Villareal, the team that will be paying a $10 million transfer fee...

WednesdayJune042008

Jozy Altidore Headed To Villareal: Villareal Is Not Real Madrid.

There was a reason why Jozy Altidore tried to dispel rumors that Real Madrid were on his heels last year. That’s because they probably weren’t, but a certain Spanish semi-sometimes-does-well-powerhouse was definitely interested in the 18 year old and...

WednesdayMay142008

Samuel Eto'o Doesn't Like You Calling Him Cabron, Wants Out Of Barcelona

Athlete’s are known to throw fits. They are especially prone to tantrums in soccer. Yet, Samuel Eto’o angrily denounced that he deliberately tried to miss the classic derby between Real Madrid and Barcelona last week. And though he’s managed...

WednesdayMay142008

Say It Ain't So Gio: Dos Santos Lured By Chelsea.

Mexican players are flocking to England in droves these days, and by that we mean that there are actually Mexican players in the Premiership now. Among them may be an 18 year old phenom who has already experienced glory...

MondayApril142008

Ronaldinho Transferred To Where Exactly?

The internets abuzzin with news that Barcelona talisman Ronaldinho gazing towards Italy like a Spring breaker from the States. Inter Milan were considered the front-runners for about a week now, but news updates turned up reports that AC Milan...

ThursdayApril102008

Real Madrid Try To Gorge On The World's Best Players

The one thing you always hear from the richest clubs in the world is how they can virtually envision acquiring any player they damn well please. Take Real Madrid. After a pitiful outing in the Champions League, they’ve gone...

TuesdayJanuary152008

Toluca Icon Vicente Sanchez Sold To German Club Schalke 04, ESPN Deportes Reporter Goes All Emily Dickinson On The Matter

The gravity of Uruguayan international and Mexican league starlit Vicente Sanchez’s departure from Toluca boils down to ESPN Deportes writer David Faltelson’s poetic homage to Sanchez’s decision to transfer to Bundesliga club Schalke 04, only four days before the...

WednesdayJanuary022008

Heads Up: Jump In The Nick Of Time

For those of us who didn’t stay home on New Year’s Eve and instead boozed it up, here’s Robbie Maddison’s record-breaking jump of 322 feet and 7 1/2 inches, or roughly the length of a football field. And we...

FridayNovember162007

Juan Roman Riquelme Wants A Divorce From Villareal

We thought the whole saga concerning Juan Roman Riquelme and Villareal FC was over with last year. It must suck to have to return to a club that scorned you from existence, successfully saw to it that you left,...

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