What you missed while heading to your local supermarket to return those bad Hot Pockets.” The Miami Cheerleaders rock a fashion show to promote their lovely 2009 calendar. Controversy hits the Argentine Women’s Soccer team after a “slant-eye” photo...

What you missed while you were climbing through a portal to mythical Mayan underworld. The infamous Spanish “slant-eye” advertisement campaign kicks off our week. George W. Bush sure loves him some beach volleyball. /Spits. China CGIs are hopes and...

What you missed while you were crying over the twins not being in the Olympics. Athletes are smoking more and these days, which means Vlade Divac’s legacy is holding strong. Every now and again, ESPN believes it can be...

What you missed while you were loading up your BMX bike with loudspeakers. The Beijing Olympics are less than a week away and this is what the city looks like on a normal day. Fun. Cristiano Ronaldo will let...

What you missed this week while you were biting down on a dog that’s attacked you. Grrrrr. The Laker Girls held auditions for next year’s squad. West Ham United fans and Columbus Crew fans get their hooligan on. The...

What you missed because you were too busy watching giant squid dissections. The greatest WAG tale of all time has finally come to an end. A closer look at the rise and fall of one Nereida Gallardo. We immediately...

What you missed while marveling at Saudi Arabia’s future culture center. If you’re going to rob Pele, rob him outside of Brazil, please. Soccer players are really getting out of hand. Rarr! Shaquille O’Neal asks Kobe how his ass...

What you missed while you were pimping out your golf cart. Austrian and German female soccer players get in the game, forget clothes. There’s a new Wii Fit girl in town. Hey, Honda will mass produce hybrids in, like,...

What you missed while you were reading about our new editorial direction and jumping for joy. Detroit Red Wings’ fans are a dedicated, stubborn type of people. High school catchers like to have a little fun with umpires. Unfortunately,...

What you missed this week because rubber band slingshot wars were simply too important. Dallas Cowboys’ fans are going to great lengths to grant the most demanding wishes of their dead kin. Ronaldo’s life after transvestites will include a...

What you missed this week while reading Batman in Vietnamese. What do Miguel Tejada and Babe Ruth have in common? Ozzie Guillen want to be the greatest asshole that ever lived; and he hopes to make a little money...

What you were missed while you were purchasing your 90% price-reduced Stephon Marbury Fathead. Roger Clemens began shagging Mindy McCready when she was 15. Bolivian President Evo Morales makes his professional soccer debut with Litoral. Ronaldo’s transvestites appear to...

What you missed because you were too busy enjoying your new part-time job. Anna Kournikova will never marry her Spanish play thing. Arsenal player Cesc Fabregas is getting his own Nike TV show. The New York Yankees are going...

What you missed this week while you were chasing a dog around a soccer pitch. Cristiano Ronaldo breaks a fan’s wrist and the dude commends him for it. That damn Boston fan and his damn wannabe curse! Actually, it...

What you missed while you were guzzling down 1,500 cans of baked beans. Cristiano Ronaldo is dating a hot super model named Nereida Gallardo. Kobe Bryant is fluent in Serbian. There’s a dwarf soccer team in Brazil kicking U13...

What you missed because you couldn’t keep your eyes off of Sophia Vergara. The Florida “Manatees” make their debut. Jugga lugga lug. Nazi orgy is probably the craziest orgy we’ve ever heard of. Can you ever get enough soccer...

What you missed this week because you were too busy taking your mugger out to dinner. Wii is bringing back TECMO Bowl. The Beijing Olympics are totally jinxed now. Jose Canseco’s “Vindicated” leaked and spews allegations concerning one Alex...

What you missed this week because you were planning your all-you-can-eat baseball excursions. This female streaker* does her country right. Is there something in the water that makes Spaniards act like dumbasses? Violence. Violence. And more violence in soccer....

What you missed while you were out playing with your pet lion. Diego Maradona’s lovely duet with lover Marco Antonio Solis. Real Madrid doesn’t know a Nicolas Cage impersonator from the real thing. David Beckham’s ex-mistress is trying to...

What you missed this week because you were testing out your little pistol. LOL. Real Madrid try to lure super soccer kids from Brazil. Who needs a gym to train for the Olympics? Not this guy. Oscar De La...

What you missed this week at the chip because you were busy putting out your cigs like an idiot. Dwight Howard slams Superman steelo. Ronaldo to the MLS now that he’s hurt? Sure, why not? Your statue looks like...

We’re off for the rest of the weekend, but just in case you’re in Ireland, you might need to switch your gears soon. Remember that perfect season the Patriots were looking for? Didn’t happen. Why did Bill Belichick run...

What you missed because you were out stocking on tortilla chips and beer for the Super Bowl…or America V UNAM. Hey, you might hate football. January 28, 2008 China take the Beckham “bend it” factor to another level. There...

Since there is no football this weekend, and you’ll have time to indulge in all that domestic matter your gal pal (or guy pal who doesn’t like sports), remember to always keep proper paperwork when you walk “your pets.”...