Boston Red Sox are really passionate about their time. They’re also blatantly annoying and can be explicitly held accountable for international relations travesties. Just don’t do this in Spain or Argentina, k? [Deadspin] Paul Gasciogne may be a psychotic...

If you were wondering why Machochip posted sparingly yesterday, it’s because your fearless leader was battling the effects of food poisoning. Basically, don’t eat fries saturated in mozzarella cheese after midnight. Since we were intimate with a toilet all...

This goal is impressive because anyone with a lesser pedigree would’ve tensed up and possibly had a chance at goal. David Beckham, on the other hand, has been doing this for years. Yet, the ball didn’t dribble into the...

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is the ruthless contributor to ligament damage in ankles and the escalating percentage of hip replacements in Europe. Seriously, moves like this could kill. More Machochip “Goal Of The Day” here. Video [YouTube]...

Firstly, how in the world did we miss posting this for so long? Secondly, tis’ pretty ain’t it? Nery Castillo is still sitting like a mangled duck in the marshlands of Manchester City, so glory of this sort is...

Stefan Gislason’s wonderful strike makes the cut today because he captured lightning in a bottle. Try this strike on your own and you’ll end up like an emo kid splattered on asphalt. More Machochip “Goal Of The Day” here....

After successfully becoming the first woman to ever win an Indy racing event, Danica Patrick also became the first woman to ever almost kill a guy in the pit. Well, we don’t have the actually statistical information to back...

The open space, the brilliant pass and the classic finish by Ryan Giggs culminated in a tenth title for Manchester United in 16 years. The extraordinary thing about this goal is that Cristiano Ronaldo isn’t the one scoring. Also,...

Of course, we can’t think of anyone else but England’s Scott Carson, who allowed two crucial goals to slip by him when England were on the brink of elimination from Euro 2008 against Croatia. If England had this robot,...

Real Madrid were crowned La Liga champions last weekend when they managed to come from behind against Osasuna and scored two blistering goals in the final four minutes of the game. Gonzalo Higuain’s goal was the culmination of a...

So we had to look up what the “Snooker Final” was because we had absolutely no clue. Apparently it’s a billiards game involving 15 red balls and six of another color. Infamous streaker “Willie Thorne” wanted to add two...

There’s no need to expound upon the brilliance of this goal. What needs addressing is Eric Wynalda’s call on this. It’s about as anti-climactic as you can get, festering somewhere between Arena football announcing and giant rat shrieking while...

Cesc Fabregas is the biggest flamer in the EPL. But his bravado is also something to be reckoned with because we don’t know how many soccer players—under any surveillance—would allow for a group of men to douse them with...

Ryan Babel’s 117th minute strike against Chelsea was a proclamation of hope. The Liverpool fans at the pub we were at became wide-eyed, invigorated at the possibility their team might actually slay the dragon of mediocrity this season, and...

Everything is so much funnier when there’s a British accent involved. But without it, this Facebook parody had us crackling like a senile drunk on a Thursday afternoon…Oh. [Hot Clicks] Completely random and bizarre, but somebody paid $1,000 for...

Cristiano Ronaldo isn’t the only back-heel magician out there. Bruno Marioni’s quick reflex and sheer luck talent summoned the goal Gods to bestow him a wonderful gift. That gift was a spectacular back-heel goal that gave Atlas a 1-0...

A shirtless John Daly nauseates and inspires us at the same time. We’re totally blogging shirtless and barefoot today because you can’t diss the fat man. [FanHouse] Jimi Hendrix filmed a sextape in the 1970’s that consists of a...

Let us honor Ronaldo’s day in the news with a record-breaking goal from the World Cup. See his expression? It’s passion rampantly running through his veins; it’s ecstasy personified; it’s a guy who owns his craft. Now he’s struggling...

Basketball players have holsters in their trunks. At least that’s the case with Kobe. You think he went a bit overboard with the cockiness? Seriously, it’s the second game of the first round, brah. You’re supposed to dismantle the...

The name Yuri Zhirkov sounds more like Keyser Söze’s main hit man in “The Usual Suspects,” but, in fact, he’s a 24 year old Russian left winger who plays for CSKA Moscow and the Russian national team. He’s also...

A Red Sox fan somewhere must be punching himself silly after he dropped a foul ball while celebrating with his new souvenir. Actually, serves you right for making everyone else envy you, buddy. [YouTube] Get your fantasy league ready...

We probably wouldn’t run this video under normal circumstances because it’s too damn long, but the fact that yesterday’s Liverpool destroyer John Riise is the first own goal culprit in this video is fucktastically priceless. However, the compiler of...

We totally thought we posted this yesterday. Anyway, this video is marginally freakish, but for the most part we were all “ooo” and “ahhh.” Nike spoofed the “Sixty Million Dollar Man” and turned Steve Nash into mannequin, fractured him...

We can’t count how many times we’ve whiffed while trying to get a shot on goal. This is why we’re not professional soccer players, but Liverpool’s Dirk Kuyt is. Yeah, there’s keeper error involved (You’re supposed to make yourself...

Good thing no one was severely injured or else we’d have three or four posts to write about this. Wait a minute. Rats. [Fan IQ] Brazil’s Romario wants everyone to know he joined the Mile High club a few...

When American prime time television consists of three presidential candidates making cameos on World Wrestling Entertainment and the current commander-in-chief taking some time off banging his “bomb everything” button to make an appearance on “Deal Or No Deal”, you...

Adriano’s stint at Sao Paulo may be over soon, so Inter hope a new and improved slug is ready to conquer the formidable presence of a cheating and whining an Italian defense. To think, Adriano is young enough to...

Friday’s are supposed to be filled with amusement, so a terrified child trapped in an arcade game at a shopping mall somewhere in trashville is the kind of belly-juggling laughter that we’re in the mood. Awww, look. He’s crying....

We want to get your afternoon “Audio Clicks” session on down and dirty steelo. First off, does Cuban Reggaeton translate to “Cubaton?” We’re sincerely curious. Secondly, what the hell is this song talking about? We can’t resist falling prey...

It’s great for children to find role models in their sports icons, but this is nuts. And since when do they allow fans to enter sporting arenas wearing pads? [YouTube] Lorena Ochoa is a fearless goddess who reeks of...

Cesar Villaluz scored in last night’s Mexico friendly against China, but this goal is way better. Especially because the goal was remarkable enough to induce the hexagon goal salute from the designers in the press box. More Machochip “Goal...

El Hombre Araña (Spider Man) was invited to a child’s birthday party intending to provide “oooohs” and “ahhhs” for onlookers with his signature flips and striking poses. We he didn’t count on was laughter. A lot of laughter. At...

The back heel kick turned into a goal, but the ensuing dance makes us wonder what in the world is going down in Colombia. That shiz is hawt. Is that the new hustle? It looks like he saw someone...

Carlos Alberto takes credit for the goal, but Brazil illustrate the quintessential beauty we all look for in soccer: teamwork. Plus, wait until the end of this clip for additional footage that helps solidify the idea that soccer fans...

This video was banned from airing in most parts of the world, but since this is our first time ever seeing it, we thought showing you was a part of our duty. That and it actually made us laugh...

Scavenging through videos on YouTube, we’ve realized Arabic sportscasters are fantastic. Their shrill delivery rivals that of a prom queen piercing the ears of her peers when she’s been delivered the crown—and for some reason we’re drawn to it....

Manchester United fans are fucking crazy. A CNN reporter had the unfortunate task of covering a Chelsea FC V Man U game and this is what happened to him. He really stands true to the mantra of “the show...

Most sombreritos go directly over an opposing defender’s head, but not Marta’s move. She’ll flick it right around you and over the shoulder if you’re not careful. Can we get this player in a Galaxy jersey? More Machochip “Goal...

Ozzie Guillen’s at his finest when he uncorks that gaping hole on his face and belches out a tirade of curse words and insults. It’s like seeing Britney Spears and underwear: she’s no fun when she’s wearing some. If...

After watching this video, do you get the impression Will.I.Am. was emulating David Bowie in “Labrynth?” Cheryl Cole makes a cameo in this vid, and though we’re not particularly hip to the banality of this song and/or video, Cheryl...

Arsenal defender Philippe Senderos felt a gust of wind, then saw a sharp red light cross perpendicular to him, then heard the roaring of 20,000 fans. It was Fernando Torres schooling him in the arts of scoring. Liverpool would...

Did you hear something? Is that music? We don’t know what that is because we’re too busy staring at this leather-wearing vixen on the screen gyrating the hell out of her hips. This is Alizée and she was discovered...

This video gets progressively funnier once you realize it isn’t Borat talking. And it begs the question: which goal celebration is the most entertaining? We’ve always been fascinated by extravegance like somersaults, but running around with arms wide open...

We’ve been waiting for a good Karim Benzema goal to post because the guy’s like a Dadaist poem: thrilling, abstract and fucking amazing. How do you get away from two defenders ambushing you on the sidelines? Why, a back-heel...

That’s the only explanation for this amazing dunk. Is it better than Dwight Howard’s “Superman” dunk? Hell yes. But what about some classic Isiah Rider? Video [YouTube]...

When it comes to modesty, athletes are sometimes the least to display it. So it’s no surprise Juventude soccer player Thiago decided it was fine to rush towards opposing Gremio fans this weekend, in their stadium, and raise a...

We’re not sure if Peter Crouch & Company intended to look like giddy buffoons in this clip, but it worked if they did. Yet, what’s with the calisthenics? The “Mexican” wave usually involves a plastic beer bottle in one...

With a name like Diego Buonanotte, scoring better come easy. And what’s up with that goal celebration? Did he just unload a reverse worm? Those Argentines and their South of the Equator nonsense. More Machochip “Goal Of The Day”...

Carlos Zambrano is brought on by “career minor leaguer” (ha!) Ron Stilanovich to teach his students how to “take one for the team” in this clever little spoof that’s floating around. Our favorite part, besides watching each hitter drilled...

The NBA released this new commercial reminding us that fear is not an option for players particpating in the playoffs; or, that Kobe Bryant and Shaq secretly share the same brain, which would explain tons. We grimaced the entire...